1Pe 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resists the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

~ We are commanded to submit
~ Submission is a pattern for order
~ Submission is conditional, therefore optional.

There are few beliefs in Christianity that cause more question and ire than the principle of submission. This is fueled whenever a cult is featured in the news. There's almost always the component of submission. The focus is usually on women obeying men. The news stories always makes it appear that "Submission" turns women into servants, second place citizens, and zombie like sex slaves for the convenience of the man's whims and sexual appetites.

If we observed a cult, (which is the perfect environment for false doctrine), we 'd see, the doctrine is required to accomplish anything. How else would you expect a 18 year old girl to become the fifth wife of a 52 year old man?

I think, if we men were honest, most would find it appealing to have a brand new teenage wife every few years. (I wouldn't, of course). And here is the problem, it is very hard for a man to see any other view of submission, than the one that works best in his favor. Men like the doctrine of submission because it's like muscle; by the way, did you know that pound for pound, men have 30% more muscle than women? Unfortunate for men, it isn't religiously correct to use our strength to control women. So, what's the next best thing? Submission! Since beating is out, good men will attempt to argue and rationalize with his wife. However, a dishonest, or misinformed man, will resort to the command "submit".

~ Jesus never pointed to anyone and said, "Submit".

How in the world did Jesus get us all to submit? I see it all around me, people over there submitting; people over here; people in the past and people in the future will lovingly lay down their will to Jesus. He isn't even here physically demanding our submission, yet we do it. How does he get us to submit, when he's not even here to enforce his will?

I think you know the answer. "We love him because he first loved us". Submission works through love. First, because we are convinced of God's love, we settle our hearts under his will. If Jesus tells us to go, we go; if he tells us to do, we do; if he tells us to stay, we stay. Why? Because, what ever he might tell us, we are convinced he has our best interests in mind. If we thought God was out to trap us, or get us, or take advantage of us, our perception of him wouldn't be a God of love. When Jesus died on the cross, he surrendered his will for our benefit. Hey, that's what changed me, I saw Jesus on the cross for me, now I trust him.

You see, my submission to Jesus is "conditional" to him gaining my trust. If I don't find him trustworthy, I don't have to submit. Convince me that Jesus doesn't love me, and I'll just do things my way. Ah, but you'll never do it. I have too much evidence, and experience that shows he loves me. Therefore, my submission to him is secure.

Can you see my point? Though submission is commanded, it is still conditional, and because I am a free agent, it is optional.

Some believe, 'since it is commanded, it should be enforced somehow'. But you'll notice, the command for submission is never to the boss, but only to the sub-mitter. There's no command that says, 'husbands, see that your wives submit'. On the contrary, the wife is commanded to be in the right disposition.

Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

It is not by chance that Paul first says, "so love his wife". If a man would love as Jesus does: "Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" then the wife almost always is glad to choose the 'option' of following his lead. However, just because a man is more aggressive, more angry, more persistent in his views, doesn't qualify him as a leader. Leaders must first win over their potential followers by giving themselves as a sacrifice. This is the Christ like way. Anything else is an attempt to coerce; and you might as well just use your muscle; it's just as carnal (no pun intended).

*One more word about the commands.: We are commanded to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, Luke10.27. We are commanded to be perfect Mt.5.48. If a man insists his wife's submission should be absolute and unconditional, let him first live these scriptures out, and I promise you, your wives will have no problem submitting to you. However husbands, if you fail in these, please do not criticize your wife if she fails to obey you.

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