Dear ..........;

When I think of you and how you got married, I am reminded of the movie ‘Aliens’. If you saw the movie, you might remember how zealous and excited the soldiers were as they went out of check out the colony that had been invaded by aliens. They were very macho ( even the women ), holding their high powered guns and talking real tough about how they were going to really stomp any aliens in their path. Based on what they thought they knew, they totally believed that they had every reason to be confident.

But the story started to change when they really saw what they were up against; a formidable enemy that were just as tenacious as they were cruel and powerful. The Marines found they were actually no match for the enemy and they soon got worried and started whining and panicking.

So, you might be asking yourself, ‘what does this story line have to do with our relationship?’ I think a lot. First, I think that you do not realize what you are up against. (Now that you have a couple weeks behind you, you may have a little insight into what I am talking about.) Secondly, your enemies are incredibly powerful and relentless. In fact they never sleep. They will be watching for every opportunity during your day. But what makes them even more dangerous than aliens, is that they have helpers for their cause, right across enemy lines- in your camp. But fortunately these spies are easy to discover; just go to the mirror in the morning and you will see one.

Ah, but there is good news for you. You can win this war that is about to come upon you. But first, before you start winning, you must recognize something: You must recognize that though you entered this battle ill advised, you must not continue to be ill advised. You cannot trust in your preconceived notions (love defeats everything, etc). Also, that if or when you begin to think that you made a mistake and that divorce would be the best way out; you must remember that your first judgment, on how to start the relationship, was flawed; so also your judgment on the way to ‘have’ and ‘end’ a relationship is likely to be flawed.

The facts are these, and if you are wise, you will work within these truths.

• God can make a wonderful and successful marriage out of two incompatibles. This is His specialty.
• Believe nothing that the world says about love.
• Believe everything that the Bible says about love. Act upon what God says in His word, not how you feel. This allows Him to work.
• Be honest and sincere with God, He then will give you success.
• Be respectful to one another. Without respect you can not communicate and be heard.

I have much hope for your marriage - if you follow these simple truths. God can and will make your marriage better than you ever imagined.

Yours friends always, Peter and Karen

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